a bit confusing

Sait Çıkrıkçı 02.03.2026 249

Some nights, even in February's minus thirty, the heart is under a blizzard. "It's a bit complicated," he says, but it's actually very clear: Just go. I'm tired of staying open for you, I'm done standing firm for you. Like a tree whose fruit no one has eaten, whose branches have dried up, sometimes people remain that way—shivering, cold, bewildered.

Do you know the words in the mirror?
Can you then erase your past, your traces?
Like a drop falling from the tip of your finger
Your spirit has become vapor floating on the ground

Did you see the essence behind the words
Or the shadow behind the shadows
You killed them all, all your feelings
You destroyed everything inside, even the beauty

Tell me now, what do you have in your hands?
Nothing but warm, dripping blood
And your cold eyes, so close to you
If only the morning, the wind, the love had stayed

Don't cry watching the smoke drift away
My arms are tired now, from staying open for you
After all this, don't pin your hopes on me
I've rotted, I'm done standing tall for you

* * *

What do you say?
Should I mourn the tears that fall? Or the ice?
Should I mourn the promises broken? Or the doubts?
Should I mourn the roads traveled? Or my heart worn down?
Should I mourn the tongues that wag? Or the floods that overflow?

I think you should leave my heart now
Go now, go your way
Go on the right so a car doesn't hit you
But please, just go

* * *

I am currently under heavy snowfall
On the nineteenth of February, I am at minus thirty
I am in Erzurum, my country
Its fruits have not been eaten, they have fallen,
Its branches are dry, broken, bewildered
The tree is trembling, frozen
I am next to that tree
In my blood, flowing silently within me
The pains are always in my sigh

Sait Çıkrıkçı - Erzurum 13.12.2001 - 03:16